Choosing Growth- Investing in Your Marriage

Choosing Growth: Investing In Your Marriage

I remember the day clearly; following ski patrol across the mountain.

The same mountain that just hours earlier held wonder and excitement, was now an icy slope of fear and dread.

When I reached the emergency center, my stomach finally settled when I laid eyes on my smiling husband, resting in a bed with his leg elevated. He’d taken a major fall with a faulty ski and within the next few weeks, we would learn that he would need serious surgery. He would be unable to walk on his left leg for weeks and would need months to fully recuperate.


Choosing Growth- Investing in Your Marriage

It was a difficult season for us, just a few months into marriage, fully facing the vows, “in sickness and in health”.

I learned a lot about service and selflessness and he learned a lot about humility.

There have been many seasons in my marriage.

Seasons of few. Seasons of plenty.

Times of growth. Time of contentment.

Seasons of excitement and seasons of discouragement.

With the arrival of each new season, your marriage is faced with the opportunity to grow.

With the start of each new chapter,  you will be faced with a choice. You can choose to invest into growing your marriage or you can choose to sit back and allow your marriage to be tossed back and forth.

I hope that you will choose with me to invest into your marriage with every new season that comes.

It takes work and it takes time, but your marriage will grow stronger and more intimate as you cultivate it.

There are 4 ways to powerfully invest in your marriage in any season.


This part of marriage can often be overlooked in our busiest times. But God created sex as a beautiful and intimate part of marriage.

Sex can easily be put on the backburner, especially for us busy wives, and it can become more of a chore than an intimate and desireable connection with our spouses.

Find ways that you can invest into your physical relationship with your spouse.

Do you find yourself having sex in the same routine each week? Do you only fit it in when it’s convenient?

Find ways to make it new. Do something to make it exciting. Invest into your sex life and it will spark connection and intimacy in your marriage that will draw you through even the most difficult seasons.


Emotional intimacy is key to a healthy and thriving marriage. As you seek to invest in your marriage, you must invest into each other’s hearts.

Take time to discern how your spouse is doing and what you can do to connect with them. This is where I always recommend the Love Languages Quiz.

Learn what you can do to make your spouse feel loved, supported and cared for. Do what it takes to create a safe space for your spouse to open up.

It is especially important to keep your emotional connection strong when life seems to be going well. If you continue to strengthen this side of your marriage during a strong season, it will help you to stay connected with the storms come.


Investing into your spiritual connection is SO important. This can be done in so many ways. Taking time weekly to pray together, read Scripture together, study the Bible, memorize verses, or to check in on each other’s walk with God.

Take time to connect with God together with your spouse. There is nothing more powerful in growing a marriage than watching your spouse intercede on your behalf before the Lord. Knowing that your spouse is dedicated and committed to surrendering your relationship to the Lord is powerful.

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Start small. Choose one thing and spend 5 minutes twice a week doing it. Then slowly increase the time and commitment.

A strong spiritual connection is absolutely essential to a thriving and strong marriage that can weather the storms well.


Having fun with your spouse allows you the time to connect in a way that all of our souls long for.

We all need time to decompress, to unwind and to have fun. We are going to look for it in our lives regardless and so it is important to build this in your marriage.

When you can spend time having fun together, it will create a connection and an intimacy that will hold you in the dry seasons.

Investing in your marriage is so essential to weathering whatever storms may come.

Take time to invest in your marriage today, this week and this month.

Plan a trip or a night in. Schedule a time to talk or to connect with the Lord. Find ways to bring excitement to your sex life.

All of these will work together to bring you and your spouse closer and to strengthen the foundation of your marriage.

During the season of my husband’s injury, we had to learn to actively invest into our marriage. We could no longer hold onto the “honeymoon phase”. Life was no longer a breeze, but it was something that we could work at together. It was something we had to work at to keep our marriage strong and thriving.

As hard as it may seem and as discouraged as you may feel, take just a few small steps to invest into your marriage. As you begin to see the transformation, you will find the strength and the courage to take bigger steps.



  1. Thank you, Nicole, for sharing these tips that are vital to a flourishing marriage. Marriage can definitely be challenging at times. It’s good to hear encouragement in this area. Great seeing you again at the Literacy Musing Mondays linkup!

  2. It’s so important in marriage the prayer and care for one another in all circumstances. I’ve been there praying and interceding for my husband in the most difficult moments. I agree with you in every detail of this post that help us to grow in marriage. Blessings Nicole!

  3. Great tips! I’m going to PM you about a project I’m planning to see if you’d be interested in contributing! Blessings!

  4. β€œWith the arrival of each new season, your marriage is faced with the opportunity to grow.” All four of these ways are so critical to continuing to grow in our marriages. Beautifully stated here, Nicole!

  5. This is great, Nicole. Yes, it’s easy to put our marriages on the back burner when life gets busy, hectic. With our older two graduating this year, it certainly is a hectic time in our lives. Your post is a good reminder to keep feeding our marriage. Thanks for this.

    1. Yes, Dianne! It is in those busy and exciting times that it gets hard to keep investing! But it definitely is so important πŸ™‚

  6. Such helpful tips! You are so right there are different seasons in life and marriage, and it’s easy to take your spouse for granted, especially when they are a good one πŸ™‚ Your book looks really helpful!

    1. Thanks, Elizabeth! Let me know if you have any questions about the devotional, I’d be glad to answer πŸ™‚

  7. Very sweet and spot on tips! I’ve been thinking a lot lately about taking steps to add fun and depth to our marriage, so this was very helpful! Every sphere is important, but I think it’s easy to overlook intimacy and spirituality in the busyness of life.

    1. I’ve been in the same boat, looking for ways to add fun! And yes, when we get busy, it can be so easy to overlook the most important things! Thanks for stopping by, Dani πŸ™‚

  8. I enjoyed this post and it was a good reminder for me. I think, as couples, we all struggle in different areas. For us, the physical is easy to overlook because we are both such driven people that we allow it to get set on the back burner. I’m glad I stopped by.

    1. Thanks, Rosanna! You make a great point, we all have that area that needs a little extra focus. I’m glad you recognize yours and want to invest!

  9. Great post, marriage is such a hard job and it really is work to keep it healthy, especially right now in our phase of life with young kids and busy work schedules. Great tips

  10. These four ways of investing in a marriage hit the nail on the head. I try daily to remember these. I’ve been married for 4 months and I truly believe these hold a marriage together. Thanks for sharing and giving us all a reminder.

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