Satan's Lies About Being the Good Girl
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How God Delivered Me From Satan’s Lies About Being the “Good Girl”

I'm so excited to welcome Deb as she shares her powerful testimony about redemption and healing. Her words of truth are exactly what I needed to hear today and I hope they will encourage you just the same!

Do you ever struggle with trying to be good enough? God doesn't want us wasting our time and energy trying to measure up to our own expectations. We need to seek fully after Him and then we can try love others as He calls us to.

I always tried to be a good girl.

When I was little, a disappointed look was typically all the behavior modification I needed to motivate a change in attitude and behavior.

Yes, I'm an oldest child and a born people-pleaser!

As I grew up, I carefully evaluated the potential downside of my words and actions and did whatever I could to avoid any and all negative consequences. And for the most part, it worked for me.

Except for the fact that fear makes a lousy motivator.

Oh, my story would be easier to tell, if I could say love and a desire to honor and glorify God by obeying His commands and following His will was my motivation. But...

The enemy is a great deceiver. He loves to find anything he can to get God's children to doubt their Father's love, care, and provision.

For me, it all started with my heart's desire.

The Bible says,

Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 34:7

I'm a pastor's wife, teacher, student of the Bible, and I've always believed in Jesus as my Savior . . . doesn't that equal "delighting" in the Lord?

Why wasn't God giving me the desire of my heart?

Maybe you can relate.

You've prayed and waited for:

  • a spouse
  • a child
  • healing
  • a job
  • a home
  • friends
  • etc.

And like me, maybe it's been a year, two, five . . . longer, and your heart is crying as the wait continues.

That's when the enemy met me in the words of a friend.

"You're not fun anymore."
"God's not going to..."
"You need to..."

Words I so badly wanted to hear that like Eve, I grabbed hold of that fruit and took a big ol' bite!

At first, everything seemed to work out. I got what I wanted. My prayers were answered. Life was perfect. I even convinced myself that it was all God's will.

But then the perfect crashed and burned.

I'm not going to share the details with you, they're not really important. What is important is the way God used it all to work in my life and teach me the truth about His forgiveness and love.

God gave me a vision of myself standing at that tree in the center of the Garden. I heard Satan's hissed words, "Did God really say?" And I'd believed his lie that God's "no" was not out of love but because He was holding out on me.

My internal "good girl" flattened.

There I was with a half-eaten piece of fruit in my hand, humbled, broken, hurting, and in need of forgiveness.

[bctt tweet="There I was with a half-eaten piece of fruit in my hand, humbled, broken, hurting, and in need of forgiveness. #StandAgainstSatan @BlessingCounter" username="NicoleAKauffman"]

But God... He led me to the foot of the cross with three simple humble words, "Please forgive me."

Don't you just love those two words?  "But God."

But if we confess our sins, He will forgive our sins, because we can trust God to do what is right. He will cleanse us from all the wrongs we have done. 1 John 1:9

Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” Luke 7:48

But with You there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you. Psalm 130:4

I have tears in my eyes as I type this.

I'm so overwhelmed by God's undeserved grace offered in and through Jesus.

My inner "good girl" was so full of self, but my humbly forgiven "redeemed girl" is surrendered and free.

By God's grace, through Jesus, I'm forgiven. I'm loved. And I'm no longer afraid.

God's grace really is enough.

He said to me, “My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you.” So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ’s power can live in me. For this reason, I am happy when I have weaknesses, insults, hard times, sufferings, and all kinds of troubles for Christ. Because when I am weak, then I am truly strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9–10

Friends, whatever your past regrets or problems you're dealing with today . . . God's grace is enough.

It's enough to forgive you, enough to give you courage and strength, and enough to sustain you as you follow His will.

Satan will always tempt you and me. His message has been the same since the Garden, but there's Good News...

God's promises are always the answer to the Garden's lie.

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. John 3:16–17

I love this quote. It sums it all up so beautifully...

"To win the war against fear, we must know the true God as He is revealed in the Bible. He works to give us lasting peace. He receives joy, not from condemning us but in rescuing us from the devil. Yes, the Lord will bring conviction to our hearts concerning sin, but it is so He can deliver us from sin's power and consequences. In its place, the Lord works to establish healing, forgiveness, and peace." ~ Francis Frangipane

So, from one surrendered "redeemed girl" to another! Celebrate God's grace and remember His immeasureable love!

[bctt tweet="From one surrendered "redeemed girl" to another! #StandAgainstSatan @BlessingCounter" username="NicoleAKauffman"]





Deb is a passionate blessing counter who loves to study the ways faith and life intersect. This year at Counting My Blessings, she is sharing The Relationship Project - How One Relationship Affects All Others.

Deb lives in Missouri with her husband and furry child, Sadie now that all of their human children are grown and have little ones of their own. And yes, being a grandparent is the best!

She's hoping you will join her on PinterestFacebook and Twitter.


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  1. Deb- thank you for sharing this! I’ve strived to be a good girl my whole life, it’s exhausting!
    As I’ve grown in faith, I’m not living in fear that I can’t measure up.
    “By God’s grace, through Jesus, I’m forgiven. I’m loved. And I’m no longer afraid.”
    So many “Amens” to this!
    Visiting from #Faith’nFriends

  2. Oh man, I spent so many years striving to be the “good girl” and always “do the right thing, always filled with fear that I would do the wrong thing. But now I feel free to live as one redeemed from the traps of trying to be perfect and seeing my sin for what it is–sin-covered in the loving grace of Jesus. Thank you Deb, for such a heartfelt post.

  3. Oh my goodness. I love this so, so much.

    “My inner “good girl” was so full of self, but my humbly forgiven “redeemed girl” is surrendered and free.”

    So true. Our own “goodness” is a trap but God’s grace allows us to surrender and trust Him with our hearts and lives.

    1. Thank you, Bailey! It’s funny . . . I lived with so much fear and anxiety when I was trying to be good on my own. What a “pit” I made for myself. I will forever be thankful that God allowed some very painful circumstances to deliver me. God bless you!

  4. “My inner “good girl” was so full of self, but my humbly forgiven “redeemed girl” is surrendered and free.
    By God’s grace, through Jesus, I’m forgiven. I’m loved. And I’m no longer afraid.
    God’s grace really is enough.”


    1. That’s the lie, isn’t it? That God’s grace is insufficient and we need to earn His grace. I was just reading in Romans this morning . . . if it’s earned, it’s not grace. Thank you, Sade, and God bless you!

    1. Amen, Keri! Something I wished I’d believed many years ago. Still, I’m so thankful for the grace that allowed me to surrender at the appointed time and trust God’s love and the freedom He offers. God bless you!

  5. That made me smile. Not because striving to be perfect was a walk in the park; but because God’s grace really IS enough! I was not really the “good girl” but the passive one. However, as I grew into adult hood, I’ve become the rebel!! and His grace covers me even then!!

    Thanks Deb!

    1. Isn’t His grace awesome! I’m so thankful for His amazing love. Just working to keep my eyes on Him and off of me. Whew, that’s not easy. Thanks so much! God bless you!

  6. What a wonderful post! I so often need the reminder that God’s grace is enough. I try to rely so much on myself to do the right thing or to achieve perfection. I need to remember to move past the things I regret and live in His grace. Thank you!

    1. Lexi, I do too! If I’m honest with myself, I think it’s a pride issue. My “good girl” still likes to sneak out once in a while. I just want to badly to follow God out of love and a desire to give Him glory . . . yes, remembering His grace is more than enough when I fail. God’s blessings!

  7. God’s redemption plan for us is such a sweet, simple blessing. I love that I have been given the dignity and richness of free will, but man do I mess it up sometimes! That we can say “please forgive me” to our steadfast creator and be wiped clean is amazing and wonderful!

    1. Me too, Debbie! Knowing I can humbly take everything to Him and He will forgive me and make me clean. God’s mercy and grace through Jesus . . . life’s greatest blessing! Blessings to you!!

  8. Isn’t it awesome how God redeems us? His forgiveness is mind blowing. Thanks for sharing that wonderful testimony, Deb! God bless you and Nicole both. 🙂

    1. Amen, Kelly! There is so much freedom in laying down my people-pleasing “good girl” and knowing my Father is always doing what is best in my life. Thanks so much for your encouragement! Blessings and hugs!

  9. Amen!! God is so good. His forgiveness is the sweetest sensation.
    I’m an only child and fear was a great motivator.

    1. Michelle, I was just talking to Rev this morning about the way Satan still tries to attack me with fear. It’s something I need to regularly surrender and remember how many things God has gotten me through in the past. His past faithfulness gives me courage when I take my fear to Him in prayer. God bless you!

  10. I am so thankful for God’s undeserved grace. It’s my desire to live a life of obedience that glorifies Him. Staying in His word helps to guard me against Satan’s lies. Thought-provoking and honest post Deb.Thanks for sharing Nicole. Blessings to you both.

    1. Thank you, Horace. It wasn’t an easy post to write. I’m so thankful Nicole invited me to share my story here. I so appreciate your encouragement. Blessings!

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