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How to Find Hope in the Sea of Grief

How do we find hope in grief and heartbreaking times? There are times when an unexpected loss rips through your world and colors every moment of your days.

We think that if only we could have gone back and said something or done something differently. If only we could have a few more minutes. The grief tears you apart and threatens to overtake your life as you know it. 

And sometimes it doesn’t go away.  People are given days to mourn a loss that will affect the rest of their lifetime.

How to Find Hope in the Sea of Grief

It becomes so much harder when a loss is unexpected.  There weren’t the days to come to grips with reality.  There wasn’t the time to say what needed to be said.  There was no closure.

How do you move on in the middle of the abyss?  How do you press forward into encouragement and find the way back to who you were before?

Searching For Reason

The biggest question that arises among grief is, “Why?”

Why did God allow this tragedy?  Why does God allow good people to die?

It is innate within us to search for a reason behind our pain.  It is a part of the healing process to glean an understanding of our loss. 

Oftentimes we see God working right away.  And other times there just doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to our pain.

Finding purpose in our grief is one of the greatest doors to healing.  Whether that purpose is something we can accomplish as a result of the loss or something that we trust only God will do, seeking to bring meaning out of pain is a powerful way to cultivate healing a broken heart.

[bctt tweet="Finding purpose in our grief is one of the greatest doors to healing." username="NicoleAKauffman"]

This can be done when we see God’s hand working in our situation.  When others are brought to Christ because of a death or when an organization or cause is formed, we can begin to find peace in something that once felt so wrong. 

The biggest caution that I can offer through this process is to remember that we cannot lean on our own understanding.  Sometimes we can catch a glimpse of understanding our pain, but more often than not, we must trust and rely on God when we cannot see past the pain.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

We can hold onto the promise that His plan is greater than anything we can imagine.  We have to hold onto the truth that God is good and His plan is good no matter what we feel at the time.

We see from such a limited perspective in time, but God sees from afar.  Even though we feel we are surrounded by chaos and pain, God can see the beautiful masterpiece that is being weaved into our lives.

We just need to hold onto Him and do our best press forward in this season of grief.

Healing in Community

There is a healing power in the connectedness of our souls in the midst of grief.  When we come together as a community to mourn and support one another, healing is sparked.

[bctt tweet="There is a healing power in the connectedness of our souls in the midst of grief." username="NicoleAKauffman"] 

When there is grief of any kind, you must seek to find healing within a community. 

Some tragedies elicit a gathering of an entire town, but some may be much smaller.  A community can be anything from a family, a few friends, a church, a school or a town. 

When we gather together to share in our grief, we remember that we are not alone.  You are not the only one being swallowed by a sea of pain.  There are others who will mourn with you and stand by you through this time.

Don’t stand alone in the sorrow.  Don’t allow your heart to believe the lie that you can do it on your own.  Reach out and find support.  And in that support you will begin to find healing.

Trusting in He Who Is Greater

Above all, we must remember our greater calling in this world.  We are not called to a pain-free and struggle-free life.  We are called to suffer for the name of Christ.  We are called to sacrifice our worldly desires for His greater desire. 

In the midst of pain, we can take comfort that God is greater than our grief and sorrow.  He will meet us where we are and He will comfort us.  But He won’t leave us there.  He will bring us to a place of healing and redemption.  In time, your heart will mend.  You will find restful sleep again and you will experience moments of joy again. 

In time, God will transform your heart and the sorrow will fade.

We must remember that we have a hope greater than this world.  We have hope in Christ.  He mourns for our loss and for the brokenness of this world, but He died so that we could have hope in Him in moments like this. 

He gave himself up for a broken world and because of that, we can hope for a day with no more sorrow.  There will be a time when tears will cease to fall and all our pain will dissolve. 

You can hope for that time in the midst of grief.  Remember to place your hope in Christ and He will slowly heal your broken heart. 

Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4.  

He is with you in this time.  He will comfort you when you lean on Him. 

Though the pain is great, you must cling to the hope you have in Christ to bring you through. 


I wrote this post in honor of a good friend, Ryan Didone, who through his life brought many to Christ. 

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21




  1. Thank you for your encouraging words that ring out truth. Our son died on May 27, 2016. He was 29 years. Sometimes the hurt is so bad and there are no words to describe. We are so thankful for God that gives dependable hope. GOd bless you.

  2. Nicole,
    Your message of hope in the sea of grief is beautiful. With the holidays fast approaching, grief is particularly painful. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. Prayers for you and all those who loved him. Thanks so much for coming alongside me to share hope at #MomentsofHope!
    Blessings and smiles,

  3. Nicole – I am visiting you from the sitting among friends link up. I chose your post to read and comment on because I have been going through my own season of grief after losing my mother and oldest and dearest friend within three months of each other. Both were sudden and unexpected. Our Lord has been such an amazing comfort to me as I have been grieving with HOPE. It has been very, very hard, but I have seen God in ways I could not have seen otherwise, and for that I am grateful. I love your words and your post resonated with me on so many levels –and then.. you dedicated your post to Ryan. Such a surprise. Ryan passed away not far from my home on my 50th birthday. I know his family well. Such a small world. Many Blessings to you. Laura http://www.Laura-Acuna.com

    1. Laura- thank you for the testimony of God’s working in your season of grief. He does bring us comfort and hope when we seek Him and I’m so glad that you found that (although it is a constant process of ups and downs). And what a great connection! I met Ryan through a group called Young Life and God did some amazing things through that time. Thank you so much for stopping by, Laura!

      1. Nicole – I was a Young-lifer as a teen many years ago and my sons were also. My youngest was in club with Ryan. You are correct – the Lord did many amazing things through that time. I also work at DHS and saw how He worked among the students. He is so good.

  4. My life came to a standstill when my hubby had three brain aneurysms, one of which hemmoraghed. It was the most difficult time in my life but looking back I can say it was a time where God was so close and upholding me in His right hand.

    He can use the grief for our growth and good!

    Thank you for your sweet comment over on my blog today!!!


    1. I often reflect on the phrase “joy in suffering”. Even in our darkest and most painful times, God can do amazing wonders and transform us and through this, we can find joy in suffering. So glad you stopped by, Lillian!

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